I sat down on the couch cradling my expanding stomach.
"So I was thinking we can see Johnny today."
"Well I'm seeing Evie."
"Well we've seen Evie multiple times."
"Yeah but she's in worse condition."
"Johnny is in intensive care."
"Johnny just got beat up by Socs. Not only Evie got beat up by Socs but she got ran over by an SUV by a Soc."
"Of course Sandy we will do whatever you like just like every single damn thing."
Steve walked in.
"Wow guys relax."
"I'm sorry I'm just under a shit load of stress right now."
"YOU'RE UNDER STRESS?! I'm 5 and a half months pregnant with YOUR baby."
"Sandy Soda has been working a lot lately..."
"Sandy I work my ass off for our baby!"
"At a freaking gas station!"
"More then what you're doing."
"You try being pregnant. Swollen ankles puking your guts out every morning, serious weight gain."
"Oh that's just so hard."
"You try being me right now."
"How hard is it to be a low class skank?!"
I clentched my fists trying not to cry.
"And you still haven't told your god damned parents yet. Darry knows so why can't they?"
"Darrys not your fucking parent! If my parents found out they will kick me out."
"I've been kicked out if you forgot."
"oh poor you. You could've went out have sex and get another girl pregnant!"
I balance my self on the couch struggling to get up.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you."
"Sandy Soda is your boyfriend."
"Not anymore."
Soda's mouth dropped. He took my hand and I jerked away from him.
"But it's our baby."
I walked away towards the door.
"Don't even think about being involved in our daughters life right now."
"I'm her father!"
"I don't give a fuck! You don't seem to care."
I walked out the door then I opened it again.
"Go to hell."
I proudly walked out. I got in my car and broke down I broke up with the guy I love, my baby's father. I can't help but feel I made a huge mistake. I bit my lip he's a jerk that doesn't care about me or the baby. So screw him.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Killing Me Would Just Be Easier
"Soda don't. Please."
"We have to. For us."
"Please don't please I beg of you."
He took a deep breath,"Okay."
"I'm going to the bathroom."
He nodded and fiddled with a disc. I know what it is the video of the baby. He better be careful about watching it. I left to the bathroom I made my way towards his bedroom where he was watching the baby on his laptop. Then I saw Darry walk in I tilted my head back against the wall knowing it's all over. The only words I could make out was "is Sandy pregnant?" he nodded. He cried into his chest as I cried in the hallway. I walked into his room.
"What are you gonna do when the baby is born?"
"I'm not feeling too hot I should go home."
"Sandy we all need to discuss this. Have you told your parents yet?"
"No,"
"I should tell them."
"No, no, no, no we will tell them ourselves."P
He sighed and left the room. I cried at the thought of telling my parents.
"Soda, I cant tell them."
"We have to."
"No we can't."
I left the room and went outside to be left alone. He put his arm around me.
"It's over."
"Shhhh."
My troubles faded as our eyes locked.
"We will tell them tomorrow at Friday night dinner."
"We have to. For us."
"Please don't please I beg of you."
He took a deep breath,"Okay."
"I'm going to the bathroom."
He nodded and fiddled with a disc. I know what it is the video of the baby. He better be careful about watching it. I left to the bathroom I made my way towards his bedroom where he was watching the baby on his laptop. Then I saw Darry walk in I tilted my head back against the wall knowing it's all over. The only words I could make out was "is Sandy pregnant?" he nodded. He cried into his chest as I cried in the hallway. I walked into his room.
"What are you gonna do when the baby is born?"
"I'm not feeling too hot I should go home."
"Sandy we all need to discuss this. Have you told your parents yet?"
"No,"
"I should tell them."
"No, no, no, no we will tell them ourselves."P
He sighed and left the room. I cried at the thought of telling my parents.
"Soda, I cant tell them."
"We have to."
"No we can't."
I left the room and went outside to be left alone. He put his arm around me.
"It's over."
"Shhhh."
My troubles faded as our eyes locked.
"We will tell them tomorrow at Friday night dinner."
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I Don't Know What To Do.
"Sandy you have practice!" I groaned and rolled out of bed. I heard footsteps trail upstairs. I fixed my hair and darted to the bathroom. "Sandra! Are you all right?" I finished and wiped my mouth. "I'm fine ma." "I think I need to bring you to a doctor..." "No, no, no! I'm fine." "Whatever you say." She left the room. I brushed my teeth and started to throw up again. I groaned as I finished. She let me miss all the other weeks because of Evie but she woke up. I have to tell her I'm already showing! And thank god I've been smart about swiping the bills but we need a way to pay them. Well I'm not getting a job I am the one carrying the baby. And I have my 5 month check up tomorrow. I got my uniform out, and attempted to put it on. The top didn't fit and my bare baby bump was showing. I need a way to get out of it. I have to tell them the guilt is killing me. I can't they'll kick me out or send me away. "Mom, Taylor's giving me a ride to practice!" "Okay honey!" I put on a dress and put on a cardigan. I put my shoes on and left through the window. I got my cellphone out and called Soda. "Hey,can you pick me up?" "Yeah." I paced behind the bushes just thinking about the baby. 14 weeks, 14 freaking weeks. I shook my head in disbelief. I stopped for a moment and felt something in my stomach. I felt another one and started panicking inside. I saw his car pull up and I got in. "Wow I didn't notice how big you are." I playfully shoved him as I got in the car. "We need
to tell them soon my mom is expecting things." He stayed silent and ran his fingers through
his hair. "Where are we going?" "The hospital." "For?" "To see Johnny." "You haven't seen Evie once she's in worse condition." "How bad is she?" "I can't. It's too hard." I felt it again and hunched over. "Whats wrong?" He out his hand to my stomach and felt it. A huge grin was on his face. "The baby's kicking." I sighed in relief and he pulled up to the hospital.
"Torres." "Room 115." I opened the door and turned on the lights. I heard an annoyed voice. "Turn them off!" Soda flipped on the lights. Her face was still torn, had deep gashes, huge bruises, and stitches. She had huge casts on her body. "How are you feeling?" "I've been better. Johnny visited earlier." "Really? How is he?" "I don't know. He's at least allowed to get out of his room." "When can you? You know at least walk around?" "I don't know I have at least 6 surgeries to under go." "Steves been here everyday. I don't know why I look so ugly." "You were also stabbed in the stomach, jumped, and hit by an SUV you can't walk off looking like a model. Just be lucky you're not fat." "Hi babykins." "Babykins?""Shut up that's our name for the little nugget." He laughed we both joined in and Evie got into a couphing fit. Tears fell down my face, what happens if she doesn't make it? The doctors came in and told us to leave. I wiped the tears off my face Soda hugged me. We saw Johnny for a little bit then went home. Darry walked through the door and Soda held my hand. "Sandy, it's time."
to tell them soon my mom is expecting things." He stayed silent and ran his fingers through
his hair. "Where are we going?" "The hospital." "For?" "To see Johnny." "You haven't seen Evie once she's in worse condition." "How bad is she?" "I can't. It's too hard." I felt it again and hunched over. "Whats wrong?" He out his hand to my stomach and felt it. A huge grin was on his face. "The baby's kicking." I sighed in relief and he pulled up to the hospital.
"Torres." "Room 115." I opened the door and turned on the lights. I heard an annoyed voice. "Turn them off!" Soda flipped on the lights. Her face was still torn, had deep gashes, huge bruises, and stitches. She had huge casts on her body. "How are you feeling?" "I've been better. Johnny visited earlier." "Really? How is he?" "I don't know. He's at least allowed to get out of his room." "When can you? You know at least walk around?" "I don't know I have at least 6 surgeries to under go." "Steves been here everyday. I don't know why I look so ugly." "You were also stabbed in the stomach, jumped, and hit by an SUV you can't walk off looking like a model. Just be lucky you're not fat." "Hi babykins." "Babykins?""Shut up that's our name for the little nugget." He laughed we both joined in and Evie got into a couphing fit. Tears fell down my face, what happens if she doesn't make it? The doctors came in and told us to leave. I wiped the tears off my face Soda hugged me. We saw Johnny for a little bit then went home. Darry walked through the door and Soda held my hand. "Sandy, it's time."